Never write anybody off entirely

She admits to welfare fraud by not reporting her income.

She admits she was a Xanax addict, now reformed.

She admits she resorted to stripping and performing in porn films to pay her bills and keep food on the table.

She is now Natalie Suleman (was Nadia Suleman), a 41-year old mother of 14 children who became known worldwide when she gave birth in 2009 to eight babies who survived beyond a month, a record. 

She is pictured with eight of her children, all who look like they need dental work.  All the boys have the same haircut: short.  She drives a van, with a missing hubcab, to drop off her kids at four different schools daily and then goes to work as a Psychiatric nurse. [Daily Mail UK]

Every time I read about “Octomom” I revolted inside.  She certainly served as a bad example.

The fertility doctor who sought fame by implanting her with an excessive number of eggs (he has now lost his license to practice medicine), and her agent who capitalized on her brief fame as a porn star (now dismissed), took advantage of her.

Natalie finally became disgusted with herself.  As she said it: “Octomom had to die.”  It sounds so Biblical.  [Luke 15:7]

She has come a long way being the daughter of an alcoholic father.  Her mother died in her arms in 2014. 

She had to confess her sins to her children.  “I’ve told them I’ve done some bad and shameful things.” 

She says she was “young and dumb.”  In 2009 she was 32 years of age.  She says she is celibate for 15 years and receives food stamps but hopes to get off welfare some day. 

“I raise my children with God and we try to go to church every week and we pray before meals.”  She adds: “No one hates Octomom as much as me.” 

She says she isn’t searching for marriage but she was certainly all dolled up for a recent news photo shoot.  How could she ever give a husband any attention with 14 kids to clothe, feed and school, two who are autistic?

Natalie Suleman is reformed.  She got the children she always wanted, more than she had ever hoped for.  She like many other women, following their nurturing instincts, actually driven by a hormone called oxytocin, known as the hug or cuddle hormone, has somebody to care for. 

But like so many women with children who have no father in the home, they will grow up in poverty.  Not necessarily poverty financially but poverty of spirit. 

Regardless of how good a mom Natalie Suleman is she cannot make up for a dad. 

And there is an economy in marriage that vanishes when divorce takes place.  Living standard drops by 40% with a filing for divorce.  The rate for poverty is 6.8% in families with married partners and 82.0% in single-parent homes!  []

Dads set an example.  Dads discipline in a different manner than moms.  Dads are the first date for young girls.  Dads help children grow up.  Fatherless boys and girls live their young lives aimlessly searching for a father, vulnerable to males who prey on young children for totally selfish reasons. 

What do all of the recent mass shooters have in common?  Answer: no father in the home. []

Another thing that is overlooked is the importance of two parents for self identity of the children.  First, kids gulp hard when their friends ask about their father and they don’t have one.  Kids feel empty.

Second, we fail to recognize how to answer the question of who we are.  How do you answer the question: who are you?  You can go to college, become a doctor, lawyer, or never go to college and become a plumber or an electrician.  But that is what you do for a living, not an answer that explains who you are. 

The only answer to that question is answered generationally:  “I am my father’s/mother’s son/daughter.”  Or ultimately, “I am a child of God.”  Kids born by in vitro fertilization and no father in the house have an exaggerated void in their lives.  One half of that answer is missing. 

Another problem is how children see a step-dad who is taking mom away from them.  There is jealousy. 

I know a newly widowed mother whose young boy feared his mother’s interest in another man would take away the only parent he had left.   The mother capitulated to the child, not recognizing the child’s need for a father in his life. 

There is an age when young children need and still want a father.  As they grow older, they need a father but don’t want one.   So many single mothers miss this window to re-marry, for the good of her children.  Many single mothers are oblivious to this need to provide a male figure to their children.

The nurturing female often falls for pathetic men who need them.  Men in prison are reported to receive many love letters from women. 

At its extreme, women who need the amorous drama of a relationship with criminals is a condition called hybristophilia.  Women hope they can change them.  [Wikipedia

When women can’t have children, that oxytocin hormone may cause them to meet their need to nurture by collecting cats.  Women develop real attachments to pets, particularly cats.  [Healthland]  We frequently read stories of women who have over one hundred cats in their home.  We never read of a man with that attachment. 

Some over-nurturing women may tend to seek a bad example for a new husband.  This worsens rather than improves the home situation.

Natalie Suleman’s children need a male role model.  God only knows if they will find one.

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